I don’t usually do this, but it seemed irresistible. With all due apologies to David Letterman:
10. New cabinet position: Secretary of the Tango.
9. The Governor ends all tough press conferences by singing, “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina.”
8. Asks the legislature to repeal law forbidding the Lambada. (Sorry, that’s how to tell your governor is having an affair with a Brazilian woman.)
7. Has renamed weekly radio address, “Stand Back, Argentina.”
6. Makes fun of governors whose girlfriends come from less exotic places, like New Jersey. (I’m talkin’ to you, Spitzer.)
5. New state holiday: May 19, Eva Peron’s birthday.
4. Refuses to answer questions about affairs of state.
3. Spends lots of time “hiking on the Appalachian Trial.”
2. New official state song: “The Girl from Ipanema.”
1. Offered up the rights to his story if Andrew Lloyd Webber would write “Evita 2.”